Redefining Bravery
by I.will.drink.this.coffee
Summary: America is heartbroken during the Civil War. His States divided against each other? There couldn't possibly be something worse than that. Though, to sort it all out, he might need to take a small step into his past first. /USUK


**_Redefining Bravery_**

 ** _._**

 _ **.**_

America tried to manage his beating heart as he walked down the streets with his hands in his pockets. The sky was overcast as always and it only fueled his rage as he neared closer to his destination.

Deep in his heart he knew he would regret doing this. Taking a glimpse into his past while he was fighting his own battles already?

Back home, things were rough to say the least. He was in the middle of a Civil War. Ever since the first shot was fired at Fort Sumter in South Carolina, it all went to hell.

At the first thought of war, America was usually hesitant. Then he would stop and remember, he defeated the high and mighty British Empire! Even when he evolved from the weak and inexperienced one, he was still the more strongwilled. As much as it pained him, he didn't let anything stand in the way of his independence.

That's why this was completely new to him. Especially when when he was practically declaring war on _himself._

The thought made his skin crawl. The North versus the South was the deal. And although there were several disagreements leading up to it, it mostly came down to whether or not a man should be able to own another human being as a _slave._

He frowned at the ground and kicked a stone in his path. Of course America knew slavery was wrong! He remembered to this day how confused he was when Netherlands and his men dropped off a couple hundred Africans in Jamestown back in 1619.

But was it worth this _literal internal_ conflict he was going through?

His states, the states he cared for deeply, we're all at each other's throats. As of now, America was working with the Union North due to the fact his boss was calling the shots on that side. Abraham Lincoln's election into office was commonly know as the official trigger for starting this war and America's fist trembled in anger at the thought.

Abe was right, he knew. The slaves not having their freedom was as bad as Britain not allowing him his independence. But what about Virginia? Or Georgia? And the other eastern border states that have been with him since he was just a part of the thirteen colonies? And not to mention the other states that have joined since then?

He cared for all off them equally, but a rumor was floating around that he was always in _favor_ of the North. _Does he forget that this county's origin was in the South? Did he forget about Virginia, where our first President came from?_ he recalled hearing South Carolina mutter. _I swear, I bet he'll drop one of our nation's most precious landmarks in the North somewhere in the future._

America growled out loud as he crossed the street, not even bothering to avoid the puddle he soaked his shoe in. He attracted attraction from the few couples around, but for one of the first times in forever, he didn't care about his image.

 _Tons of men have fought to end slavery_ America reminded himself. _John Laurens, Thomas Paine, even Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson spoke out against it!_ His heart wretched as his next thought. _None of those men ever lived to see it abolished._

This was was going to have a bloody end no matter how it played out. America referred to himself as determined. And all his states were a piece of him. Therefore, none of them were going to drop this no matter how much they loved each other.

Of course, America had personally experienced that back in 1775.

Tears pricked in his eyes at the mere thought. His throat tightened up and he picked up his head for the first time since arriving in the country. The old buildings caused the nostalgia to rush through him and his memory slipped back into the times when he was staying here. Back when he was careless and all he cared about were his prized soldier figurines and if he was going to get dessert after dinner.

Stepping foot on the island was not the smartest decision he could have made, he knew. But he had to get away for awhile, his men could handle being on their own, and Abe was an understanding guy.

The young nation now stood before a residence that he couldn't seem to get out of his mind, not even after all the passing years. He took a few deep breaths and ran his hands through his hair. He had to look mature otherwise there would be no point. He slowly walked up the steps, taking in every creak they produced, and stopped in front of the door. He blinked slowly, ran his finger over his thumb nail, and but his lip. Before he could decide to retreat, he rammed his fist against the door twice.

After hearing a few muffled sounds behind the door, the figure that answered was exactly how America remembered him looking. His hair was the same light blonde color, messily covering his forehead. His thick eyebrows were raised high in surprise as his emerald eyes widened. His lips were parted slightly and he looked as if he wanted to say something.

But he quickly cleared his throat and his face returned to it's neutral look. Exactly as he had been through the whole Civil War thus far.

Sure, Britain still provided him with resources in the North and South through this tough time, but he in no way was offering assistance to help. And it's not like America wanted him to get involved, if that happened then France would most likely get involved and then they might be in a whole other war!

But the older nation not even once visited America since the first gun fired. He never sent anyone over or wrote a letter. Ever since the Revolutionary War things were strained between them.

America was pretty sure that he haden't received a genuine smile from the man since he was just a small settlement.

Even now, America could see the pain hidden behind the indifferent looking eyes staring back at him.

Finally, Britain spoke, "Hello America. What are you doing here?" His voice was hallow, and that made America wince internally. There was too much sorrow haunting him right now.

As the older man scrutinized him expectantly, the troubled nation debated on why he even went there in the first place. _This is the person_ _I_ _knew better than anyone. The one I trusted._

"I—" he choked out, fighting the tears welling up. "I came here— I came to ask—" he didn't allow himself to finish the sentence due to the tears streaming down his cheeks and his sniffles completely blocking out what he was trying to say.

He placed the heel of his hand to his forehead and dropped his head as his own sobs rang in his ears. He couldn't be seen this way— not after all his years of trying to look like an adult next to his senior. He was sure Britain was shaking his head and clicking his tongue as he often did when he younger.

That's why when he felt a hand on his upper back and a quiet "Oh my, America," he let out a quiet gasp. He was led over the threshold and into the house of his childhood, where he was directed into the living room and sat down on the couch.

"I'll be right back." He heard the all too familiar voice say. The golden haired boy lifted his eyes to watch the other briefly exit the room. He slowly reached his hand over his shoulder and let his fingers graze his back. He could still feel Britain's touch lingering there. It was the first form of physical contact they had since the separation.

Moments later, Britain entered the room again with a tray of tea. America's stomach churned at the thought of tea, but despite that his heart beat raced at the familiarity.

They sat in silence for a moment, neither of them reaching forward for a cup. After the atmosphere grew too uncomfortable, the mighty empire finally spoke up, "America what are—"

"You never came to see me." America cut him off, keeping his eyes lowered.

Britain seemed to choke on the air he was breathing. "W-what?" He stuttered.

America's hands tightened around the couch cushion. "I mean, I'm going through a lot right now, and I haven't been able to catch a break! It's been years since we've had a whole conversation!"

That was the point where Britain's indifferent facade wore off and his brows furrowed. "Oh please, it hasn't even been a century."

Something in America broke. "Yeah, well it might as well have been one! I'm over here, barely managing to stand on my feet and you can't even stop by to offer me any kind of motivation? France and even _Poland_ did! But not a word from you?!"

Green eyes narrowed and he held up an accusing finger. "Excuse you, but I was sending you tons of supplies and plenty of my people are still immigrating over to your bloody country as we speak!"

"Yeah, and where were _you_ in all this?!"

Britain's face flushed as the question was directed at him and he pointed his nose in the air. "I was- managing things here of course! Don't blame me because your country is falling apart like I said it wo—!"

"Oh cry me a river!" America slammed his palms on the coffee table between them, causing Britain to jump slightly in his chair. "Don't tell me you're still butthurt about the Revolutionary Wa—!"

"Don't you dare bring that up!" The previously superior nation snarled as he shot up from his seat.

America followed his lead with a look of defiance in his face, a look he plastered on his face back in the year of 1776. "Why? Because I'm right? Because you know just as well as I do that you have been afraid of facing me? Afraid of facing _rejection again?!"_

The same look Britain had the night he fell in the mud and surrendered to the American army crossed his face at the very moment. It was a look of loss. He was struggling for words before a lone tear strolled down his cheek. In a split second he was furiously wiping it away. "W-well! Then what about you! You have avoided me too, this is the first time you've visited me in a hundred years!"

America's breath hitched and he watched as Britain's chest raised heavily from all the yelling. He was stumped because Britain was right. He had been avoiding the other nation for sometime. In the beginning it was because he was a newly Independent nation and who needed Britain anymore, anyways?

But as the years went on, he felt more and more like he needed closure between them. Meaning, Britain needed to come and ask for forgiveness right away. After all he put him through, he was the one who needed to apologize.

Then slowly... He started to care less about the apology and began to realize... Things just weren't quite right anymore.

The two men merely stood there for another few minutes with nothing but their panting filling the air. With a hard voice, Britain asked, "Why did you come here America?"

The tear stained remained on his cheek and America had to rip his eyes from it to answer. It pained him to actually speak the words, "I came here... Seeking advice.."

After immediate silence, America peeked open an eye to catch Britain's facial expression. He seemed to have deflated of all the previous rage dwelling in him and a light pink dusted his cheeks. "I- well you- it's just - you must be in a lot of trouble if your asking for my help." He gave a small sad smile and his eyes darted to the ground.

Despite the anger still harboring his feelings and the heaviness of the topic he was about to elaborate on, America felt the heat rush to his face and felt his body relax. He returned the smile but it held no joy.

"I'm in the middle of a Civil War," he started as his eyes darted around the room. "It's the North against the South on the sense of slavery."

Britain nodded his head. "Well besides the obvious one, what's the problem?"

The younger boy curled his hands and turned toward him. "My states are at war with each other! I have to fight against some of them! I love my states! What am I suppose to do?!"

America could feel the green eyes staring holes into him but he couldn't bare to meet his gaze. He buried his face in his hands in hopes of holding the tears back.

He heard Britain click his tongue in disapproval and it took all his willpower not to snap at him! He was not a little _child_ anymore! Despite this, when he was ordered to sit down, he did as told.

When he felt the couch dip down signalling Britain was now sitting next to him, he tensed.

"Hey America, can I share a little story with you?"

America furrowed his eyebrows but nodded. He wasn't sure how a dumb story would help him, but he'd give it a shot.

"You know how I had a lot of colonies? Well, there was this one colony I had, who happened to be my favorite colony."

America perked up a little bit. Him and Britain had spent a lot of time together when he was younger... That could only mean...

"A lot of other people tried to mess with him. France, Spain, but I wouldn't allow those jokers to get too close to him in fear of them ruining his perfect little head."

America grinned at the floor. "He had a perfect head, huh?"

Britain flushed. "Oh hush you." He swatted at the younger boy and earned a small laugh. "Anyways, this colony grew big and strong and he never failed to amaze— he never failed to surprise me."

America's face flushed as he listened.

"Eventually he wanted to break away from me, which broke my stone cold heart and I did everything in my power to try and stop him. Though I love— cared for him deeply I fought with all my power to keep him from leaving even if it meant ruining our relationship."

"But _why_ would you do that?" America blinked and finally looked up to meet the other's eyes.

Britain merely shrugged. "I thought that it was the right thing to do. Though he didn't like it, I thought it was in his best interest."

"Well.." America dared himself to say it. "What happened next?"

To his surprise, Britain let out a humorless chuckle. "He kicked my ass." There was a long pause. "It took me a long while, but I'm almost happy he did do it."

America's jaw dropped and his breath hitched. "What? Why?!"

Britain blinked and stared down as his hands. "He fought for what he believed was right, even if it meant fighting against someone that he was close to. He knew there would be tension after the war but he overcame it and fought to make the world better for his people despite the circumstances."

The two stared at each other for a moment. The old clock that hung on the wall next to the door ticked which produced the only sound in the room. Rain began to patter on the roof causing a draft to sneak in through the cracked window.

America slowly blinked his eyes. "Slavery is wrong." He declared. "And even though I love all my States, some of them are on the wrong side and I can't stand for that."

The older nation cracked a smile. "I can't speak for my boss.. But I've always been more of a Union guy personally."

The golden blonde chuckled and playfully elbowed the Brit. It had been so long since they acted like this. "Are you sure it's not because I was already on that side?"

Britain rolled his eyes. "Well it makes sense you are on that side. You've always had a good sense of justice. You're a pretty smart kid."

America pouted at the term _kid._ "Hey! I already told you I'm not your little brother!"

Britain blinked at him twice before nodding. "I know that." He spoke calmly before he leaned forward and placed a kiss on the other's cheek.

America froze as the other reared his head back and chewed on his lip with a heavy blush on his face. America grinned before he sprung forward and wrapped his arms around the other's neck. "I missed you so much Arthur."

He felt warm breath at the nape of his neck and hesitant hands found their way around his torso.

Then he heard a relaxed sigh. "I missed you too Alfred."

* * *

 **Disclaimer!**

 **I have no clue how accurate all of this is! I did do research, but to be completely honest, I'm not all that good with retaining and applying information... ^J^**

 **Anyway, though. About the story, I always thought the Civil War was an interesting concept for America because he was basically fighting himself? (Was this covered in the manga? I don't know if it was because I actually haven't read most of it, but if it has, then I have my version)**

 **If you note something wrong (trust me, you definitely will if you're good at history, I found tons of mistakes while editing) then feel free to point it out or correct me, but I probs won't fix it because I'm a lazy bastard :p**

 **Sooo.. Read and review and remember that USUK is legit! *Oh yeah did you guys notice my John Laurens cameo? Or the title reference?***

 **~Iwilldrinkthiscoffee**

 **9\19\17**


End file.
